Donald E. Westlake
The Hot Rock
This is for Milt Amgott, who has helped to keep me from a life of crime by making it superfluous.
–F. W. Nietzsche
1
Dortmunder blew his nose. "Warden," he said, "you don't know how much I appreciate the personal attention you been paying me. " There wasn't anything for him to do with the Kleenex, so he just held it balled up in his fist.
Warden Outes gave him a brisk smile, got up from behind his desk, walked around to Dortmunder's side, patted him on the arm, and said, "It's the ones I can save that give me the most pleasure. " He was a latter-day Civil Service type - college-trained, athletic, energetic, reformistic, idealistic, and chummy. Dortmunder hated him.
The warden said, "I'll walk you to the gate, Dortmunder. "
"You don't have to do that, Warden," Dortmunder said. The Kleenex was cold and gooey against his palm.
"But it will give me pleasure," the warden said. "To see you walk out that gate, and know you'll never slip again, you'll never be inside these walls again, and to know I had some small part in your rehabilitation, you can't imagine how much pleasure that will give me. "
Dortmunder was feeling no pleasure at all. He'd sold his cell for three hundred bucks - having a hot water faucet that worked and a tunnel to the dispensary made it a bargain at the price - and the money was supposed to be passed to him on his way out. He couldn't have taken it before then or it would have been found in the final shakedown. But how could it be delivered with the warden standing right next to him?
He said, playing a little desperation ball, "Warden, it's in this office that I've always seen you, in this office that I've listened to your-"
"Come along, Dortmunder," the warden said. "We can talk on our way to the gate. "
So they went to the gate together.
On the last lap, crossing the big yard, Dortmunder saw Creasey, the trusty with the three C's, start in his direction and then abruptly stop. Creasey made a small gesture that meant, There's nothing to be done.Dortmunder made a small gesture that meant, God damn it to hell, I
At the gate, the warden stuck his hand out and said, "Good luck, Dortmunder. May I say I hope I never see you again. " It was a joke, because he chuckled.
Dortmunder switched the Kleenex to his left hand. It was really full, it had seeped all over his palm. He took the warden's hand and said, "I hope I never see you again either, Warden. " It wasn't a joke, but he chuckled anyway.
The warden's expression had suddenly become a bit glassy. "Yes," he said. "Yes. "
Dortmunder turned away, and the warden looked down at his palm.
The big gate opened, Dortmunder stepped outside, the big gate closed. He was free, his debt to society was paid. He was also out three hundred fish, God damn it. He'd been counting on that dough. All he had was ten bucks and a train ticket.