Читать онлайн «Watching the Tree: A Chinese Daughter Reflects on Happiness, Spiritual Beliefs and Universal Wisdom»

(1878–1952)

I wish to thank my Ye Ye and honour him in

Watching the Tree. His memory continues to give me strength. I hope his teaching will be of help to some who are also searching for spiritual tranquillity and solace.

To my husband and best friend, Bob,

without whom this book could not have been written.

To our mentor Mason Wang,

for his help in the Chinese classics.

To our daughter Ann Mah,

for her encouragement.

To Zhang Qing-Ying,

for her beautiful calligraphy.

CONTENTS

My grandfather (Ye Ye) and I shared a rapport that neither of us ever verbalised during his lifetime. He was a businessman but was more interested in books than money. As a little girl in Shanghai, I spent hours playing by myself on the balcony attached to his room. Through the French windows I could see him practising calligraphy, writing letters or consulting the I Ching.

As the youngest stepdaughter in a Chinese family of seven children, I knew I was unwanted and considered by my family to be the lowest of the low. At home, my misery filled my whole world. It was real and deep and I could see no way out, possessing neither the wisdom nor the cynicism to blunt the cruelty and the constant rejection.

When I was ten, my stepmother Niang separated me from my aunt, whom I dearly loved, and placed me in a succession of Catholic boarding schools. I was unaware that all my mail (both incoming and outgoing) was being sent to my parents for censoring. I only knew that I never heard from my aunt or anyone else for the next four years.