Game Control
GAME CONTROL
Lionel Shriver
To the
NAIROBI PRESS CORPS whom I can thank for
my most barbaric opinions, and none of whose number ever batted an eye at the premise for this book.
HENRY ADAMS
Contents
Epigraph iii
1 The Curse of the Uninvited 1
2 Family Planning from the Tar Pits 19
3 In the Land of Shit-Fish 34
4 Spiritual Pygmies at the Ski Chalet 43
5 What Some Women Will Put Up With 65
6 Recipes for Romantic Evenings 80
7 Dog Days of Millennial Dread 91
8 Bitter Pills in the Love-Stone Inn 109
9 The Enigma Variations 124
10 A Drive to Bob’s Save-Life Bar 142
11 The Battle of the Bunnies and the Rats 153
12 Maggots in the Breezes of Opah Sanders’s Fan 164
13 The Diet of Worms 176
14 Paying the Piper 190
15 More Parameters 204
16 The IMF is OBE’ed 220
17 Back in the Behavioural Sink 234
18 An Elephant for Breakfast 252
19 Sprinkled with Vim and Garnished with Doom 262
ENDPAPERS: The Cool Rats 273
P. S. Insights, Interviews & More… 278
About the Author
Praise
Other Books by Lionel Shriver Cover
Copyright
About the Publisher
1 The Curse of the Uninvited
‘Not on the list,’ the
‘Perhaps…’ the other voice oiled, deceptively polite, ‘one of the
organizers…Dr Kendrick?’ Exaggerated patience made a mockery
of good manners.
With the bad luck that would characterize the next five days,
Aaron Spring was just passing the entranceway.
any population conference needed was Calvin Piper.
The Director bustled brusquely to the door. ‘It’s quite all right,’
he assured the African with a sticky smile. ‘This is Dr Piper. Is there
some problem with his registration?’
‘This man is not on my list,’ the
‘There must have been some oversight. ’ Spring scanned the clipboard. ‘Let’s enter him in, so this doesn’t happen again. ’ The Kikuyu glared. ‘Not with that animal. ’
Reluctantly, the Director forced himself to look up.
Wonderful. Agreen monkey was gooning on Calvin’s shoulder, teeth bared. Spring
slipped the
the price of this visit was just beginning.
The interloper looked interestedly around the foyer, as if pointing
out that he had not been here for some time and things might have
changed.
‘So good to see you. ’ Spring shook his predecessor’s limp hand. ‘Is it?’
‘You’re just in time to catch the opening reception. What happened
with your registration, man?’
‘Not a thing. What registration?’
‘There must have been some mistake. ’
‘Not a-tall. I wasn’t invited. ’
Spring winced. Piper had a slight British accent, though his
mother was American and he’d spent years in DC. The nattiness of
Piper’s tidy sentences made Spring’s voice sound twangy and crass. The Director led his ward through the sterile lobby. The Kenyatta
International Conference Centre was spacious but lacked
flair—wooden slatted with the odd acute angle whose determination
to seem modern had guaranteed that the architecture would date
in a matter of months. Kenyans were proud of the building, the way,