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8796. 01 11/19/03 5:29 PM Page 1

Part One

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Wilderness Training

Siddalee, 1963

One thing I really hate about Girl Scouts is those uniforms. They bring out my worst features—fat arms and short legs. Mama tries her best to give that drab green get-up some style, but I just get sent home with a note because the glitzy pieces of costume jewelry she pins on me are against regulations.

The only reason I joined Scouts in the first place was all because of merit badges. I wanted to earn more of those things than any other girl in Central Louisiana. I wanted my sash to be so heavy with badges that it would sag off my shoulder when I walked. There wouldn’t be any doubt about how outstanding I was.

When I walked past the mothers waiting in their station wagons outside the parish hall, I wanted them to shake their heads in amazement. I wanted them to mutter, I just don’t know how in the world the child does it! That Siddalee Walker is such a superior Girl Scout.

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REBECCA WELLS

I love going over and over the checklists for earning those badges in the Girl Scout Handbook. I have eight badges. More than M’lain Chauvin, who constantly tries to beat me in every single thing. I have got to keep my eye on that girl. She is one of my best friends, and we compete in everything from music lessons to telephone manners.

I was making real progress with my badges, and then our Girl Scout troop leader up and quit right after the Christmas holidays. She said she could no longer handle the stress of scouting.

She didn’t even tell us herself—just sent a note to the Girl Scout bigwigs, and they can-celled our meetings until they could find someone to take us on.

And wouldn’t you know it, out of the wild blue, Mama and Necie Ogden decide to take things over and lead our troop. I could not believe my ears. Mama and Necie have been best friends since age five. Along with Caro and Teensy, they make up the “Ya-Yas. ” The Ya-Yas drink bourbon and branch water and go shopping together. All day long every Thursday, they play bourrée, which is a kind of cutthroat Louisiana poker.

When you get the right cards, you yell out “Bourrée!”

real loud, slam your cards down on the table, then go fix another drink. The Ya-Yas had all their kids at just about the same time, but then Necie kept going and had some more. Their idol is Tallulah Bankhead, and they call everyone “Dahling” just like she did. Their favorite singer is Judy Garland or Barbra Streisand, de-

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LITTLE ALTARS EVERYWHERE

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pending on their moods. The Ya-Yas all love to sing.

Also, the Ya-Yas were briefly arrested for something they did when they were in high school, but Mama won’t tell me what it was because she says I’m too young to comprehend.

At least Necie goes out and gets herself a Girl Scout leader’s outfit. Mama will not let anything remotely resembling a Scout-leader uniform touch her skin. She says, Those things are manufactured by Old Hag International. She says, If they insist on keeping those hideous uniforms, then they should change the name from “Girl Scouts” to “Neuter Scouts. ”